Letting Go of the Hero Complex: Why Asking for Help Might Be the Strongest Thing You Do

What happens when you stop trying to be the hero and start learning how to ask for help?

That’s exactly what I explored in a recent episode of A Therapist’s Guide to Beyond the Hero Complex with Steve Bisson, LMHC—a powerful and deeply personal conversation I’m honored to share.

In this episode, we dive into the real emotional challenges many men face, especially high performers and leaders, when it comes to vulnerability, emotional expression, and receiving support. We talked about:

◆ Why so many men (myself included) were conditioned to equate strength with silence
◆ The cycling accident that forced me to confront my own resistance to asking for help
◆ How men’s groups gave me a space to finally feel seen, heard, and supported without judgment

We also explored the deeper question I’m still unpacking at 52: What does it truly mean to be a man in today’s world?

For years, I believed I had to be the strong one. The fixer. The one who always had it together. That mindset served me in some ways, but it also led to burnout, strained relationships, and an inability to let others in.

This conversation with Steve allowed me to reflect on how shifting from self-reliance to interdependence has transformed every part of my life—from how I lead to how I love.

If you’ve ever carried the pressure to “hold it all together,” or if you work with men who do, I hope this episode resonates with you.

And thank you, Steve, for creating such a thoughtful and honest space, where being vulnerable isn’t a weakness, but a way forward.